


Make You Feel My Love.

by reidbyers



Series: Ralvez Week. [4]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: M/M, Ralvez Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:29:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reidbyers/pseuds/reidbyers
Summary: Spencer and Luke had a nice life together, once they had build with a strong foundation of their love for one another. A phone call with news of a death tests just how strong that foundation is when Luke learns all too much about what Spencer had gone through in his life.





	Make You Feel My Love.

**Author's Note:**

> Yesterday’s prompt was “Domestic Life” but I went for a slightly more angsty approach, hope that’s alright with everyone!

_When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case._

While Spencer had never admitted it to Luke, he had known this day was coming for a while now. Luke’s old partner both in the professional and romantic sense Phil had been ill for a while now, he’d been dealing with the repercussions of the trauma and torture he went through while uncover and along the way had become sick. At first it hadn’t been too bad, Luke had gotten a call to inform him on everything that was going on and while perhaps another person might have found it strange that he was still in contact with his ex boyfriend Spencer understood completely. He had told Luke about Maeve before, sung her praises because she was an amazing person and Luke had heard about what had happened. Was it strange to wish he could have met her, his boyfriend’s almost lover? Spencer had worried that soon Luke would be in a similar situation. That day had come, it didn’t make it any easier.

Spencer had been sat on the couch with a book in his lap when the phone had began to rang, he recognised the ringtone as being Luke’s phone and began to rummage around for in within the couch cushions. Just as he found it and pulled it out Luke returned back into the room, he’d been in the process of washing dishes up which was something they usually did together but Spencer had a bit of a stomach ache from eating too quickly and Luke had encouraged him to go sit down for a little. They’d started to have an extremely domestic life together ever since they moved in with one another around nine months ago and Spencer was loving every second.

“Hello?” Luke answered the phone and Spencer looked back down to his book, he didn’t feel the need to have to keep listening to the conversation when it was none of his concern. He did however look back up when he felt Luke stumble back against the couch, hand coming out to grip a tight hold of the armrest. He didn’t make a sound, not a word escaped his lips as he listened to the woman on the other line deliver news he knew first hand was not easy to give. She sounded genuine, like her concern and pity was real and not just something she was putting on but it didn’t bring Luke any relief. It took him everything to keep listening to her words and not just completely zone out, it was like his own brain was trying to protect him from what was being told to him. Spencer could tell something was wrong so he slowly closed his book and put it down on the coffee table in front of the couch, sitting up and resting his hands in his lap while he waited for Luke to get off of the phone.

When Luke did get off of the phone it didn’t take a profiler to see that something bad had happened, his whole body had tensed up and the peaceful, relaxed manner he had previously possessed was all gone. Spencer observed his clenched jaw, the way his eyes were focused on the wall in front of him most likely so that he could focus on stopping his eyes from glazing over with tears. Spencer wasn’t the only one who noticed something was wrong because Roxy who had been curled up in her bed scrambled up off of the floor and padded over to Luke, rubbing her nose up against his palm until he begun to pet her with little energy. The feeling of her licking his fingers was enough to bring him back to reality, shaking his head a little and quickly wiping his nose before it started to run before then straightening up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Spencer’s voice was so soft and quiet that at first Luke did not hear it, it was only when Spencer prompted him again with his name that Luke turned around to look at him. He wasn’t stupid, it was clear that he knew something was wrong but one of the best things about their relationship and Spencer in general was that he understood when he wasn’t needed. People often hoped that they could fix all their partner’s problems by just being there and when they couldn’t they almost took it personally, it hadn’t taken Spencer a while to learn this but he couldn’t fix every problem that came his way and he’d learnt to offer his help but not always expect it to be taken.

“Not yet.” Luke said after a few long moments of looking at the hopeful look on Spencer’s face, he always wanted to help and it broke his already cracked heart to have to tell him no. They’d talk about it eventually but he needed to process exactly what “it” was, the news was still so new to him it didn’t feel right to share it with anyone else yet until he’d at least somewhat accepted it. Luke didn’t want to, he considered himself a strong person when it came to containing his emotions but this was different than anything else he’d come across in his life and no matter how much he wanted to just push everything aside he couldn’t.

Without another word, Luke placed the phone gentle down on the coffee table before walking out of the room. Roxy sat where he had been standing and looked over to Spencer, clearly noticing that her owner was upset by something. Spencer wanted to respect Luke’s privacy and let him deal with whatever it was alone but this was the love of his life and there was a large part of him that wanted to protect him from any sort of hurt. People perhaps looked at their relationship and would expect Luke to be the protector but Spencer was surprisingly prepared to put everything on the line for Luke.

_I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love._

Spencer waited what he thought the appropriate time was which happened to be thirty six minutes before he stood up from the couch and left the living room, Roxy perked up from where she had been laying on the floor with an apparent understanding that Luke was upset. She didn’t follow after Spencer though, instead laid her head back down against the cool wooden floor with what could only been described as a sad expression even though dogs did not show emotions like that. The first place Spencer looked for Luke was in their bedroom, somewhat expecting him to be sat on the bed but instead he was met with the sight of everything how it was when they left it that morning, the bed made and everything clean and tidy.

He didn’t expect to find him in the bathroom but checked nonetheless, after not finding him there the only real last place was the kitchen so Spencer slowly and quietly walked towards the room. Their apartment was particularly large so it was easy to hear things, such as the tapping of someone typing on their phone which was exactly what Spencer could hear, he’d told Luke on multiple occasions how to mute the typing on his phone but he never had gotten around to doing it. Now, Spencer just related that sound to Luke and found it almost comforting.

When Spencer peeked around the kitchen doorway he witnessed Luke just in time putting his phone down onto the kitchen to then bring his hands up to his face. He stayed there for a few moments before dragging his hands down his face and taking a deep breath, exhaling shakily. Deep down Spencer knew there was only one thing that would get Luke like this, both a mess and trying to compose himself at the same time. The day had been coming for a long time but it didn’t make it any easier, the only positive thing was that Spencer could relate to the feeling to losing a lover even if Luke’s had been an ex. His head was filled with all the things that were told to him after Maeve died, some of it applying to this situation and a lot of it not but Spencer knew he needed to speak with Luke about this no matter what.

“It wasn’t your fault.” First thing about Luke, he took failure personally and there was no way that he was going to take this as anything but a failure, it had been his idea to get Phil to go undercover and everything that had happened after that Luke knew was his fault. He wished it had been him, there wasn’t a second that went by that he didn’t think that if he had just been the one to be there instead that everything would be okay. The only time this thought process had ever been questioned was when he met Spencer, if he had been the one undercover and underwent the torture then there was a chance that they might not have been able to be together, maybe he never would have joined the BAU and maybe the trauma would be too much to be in a relationship. Luke looked up when he heard Spencer’s voice, not sure how to feel that he already knew what had happened.

Luke was silent, at first wanting to Spencer to stop profiling him which was a basic rule everyone on the team had with one another but he couldn’t get the words out in the fear of sounding angry. He’d just lost one of the most important men to him and he wasn’t about to scare another away, the only thing he could do was hope that he could find the correct words because right now all he could think about were awful things. When Luke did not reply Spencer took that opportunity to move closer, being careful not to spook him which was a weird way to feel about his boyfriend. Never before had he acted like this but under the circumstances Spencer knew he had needed people to be gentler with him, they already were but Luke didn’t always get that understanding.

“It’s going to hurt for a while, it’ll feel like an eternity and you’re going to look around and everything is going to remind you of him.” Spencer’s voice was soft but also heavy, his words dripping with the understanding of how it felt to lose someone so important to you. It wasn’t easy to talk about, it wasn’t fun and it certainly wasn’t a conversation he wanted to be having but he was willing to open up old wounds if it meant helping close some of Luke’s. “People, including me will probably rehash old memories accidentally and you’re going to get angry or upset. That’s okay, everything you’re feeling is okay and I understand if you need some space.”

It wasn’t uncommon that Luke wondered how it was possible that he had found himself with this life with Spencer, he was so clearly so many people’s dream guy and had so many good qualities; not to say Luke thought poorly of himself it was just that he didn’t always expect good things to happen to him. He could be cautious, sometimes expecting the worst but things with Spencer had been so good, it almost felt too good to be true. Spencer hadn’t had an easy life yet he had remained kind and was now using all his pain to try and lessen his, if there was ever a more deserving a person of the word perfect then Luke had not met them yet. He was no stranger to the story of what had happened to Spencer’s girlfriend but he’d never thought he would be in a similar situation, he had wondered what that sort of sorrow would feel like and now he regretted ever having those thoughts.

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear and there is no one there to dry your tears._

“Can you tell me if you need some space?” Spencer did his best to make sure his voice was not patronising when he spoke softly, he was not trying to baby Luke but instead show him that he was allowed to feel and he treated softly. He did not need to bottle everything up, be the tough guy that was expected of him. It was common knowledge that men were often taught not to cry, to deal with everything on the inside but this was different, death was the one time men were allowed to cry and yet Luke still felt bad when tears started to gather in the corners of his eyes.

“I don’t want to be alone.” Luke spoke for the first time since Spencer had entered the room, he couldn’t quite make eye contact with him yet but he did not move away when Spencer walked closer. There were so many things he wanted to say, so many things he had to do and he choose to do the easiest of both which was to stay quiet and to do nothing. That was of course until he felt Spencer’s arms move slowly around him and brought him into a gentle hug, his hands were gentle of Luke’s back and allowed him enough space to move away if that was what he wanted. Instead of moving away, Luke returned the hug and buried his face into the crook of Spencer’s neck, the smell of his hair for some reason only bringing more tears to his eyes. They stood there quietly, both not sure what was going to happen next but sad with the knowledge Luke knew only too well what it felt like to lose someone you once called yours.

_Oh, I hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love._


End file.
